


fake it till (we) make it

by Starling (StarDandere)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Acquaintances to Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, all other relationships will likely be background only, kaito is oblivious to his friends' dating lives, kokichi will not apologize for any memes, plot relevant use of legos, they're in america so given names
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-25 17:46:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15645789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarDandere/pseuds/Starling
Summary: Two actors - one excited, one reluctant - set out to fool the tabloids by pretending to date.Neither expect their lie to gradually creep into reality.





	1. Scene 1

Kaito Momota, up-and-coming actor newly known for his roles in various sci-fi films, has a problem. Said problem comes in the form of his frequent costar ringing insistently on his door at 2am.

 

“What the fuck,” is all his tired mind can create to greet him with. If Kokichi minds, he doesn’t show it, a wild grin filling his face.

“Good morning, Kaito!”

“It’s the middle of the night, this better be real fuckin’ important.” A headache is already starting to form right behind his eyes, so he really isn’t in the mood for-

“I’m bored; you should be a good host and entertain me!”

 

Three seconds later, Kaito slams the door in his face.

 

“Hey! Kaito! C’mooon!” The relief from his voice being muffled only lasts a matter of seconds, as Kokichi goes back to ringing the doorbell rapidly.

“Fine,” he groans, throwing the door back open, “Get in here before I call someone to get rid of you.”

He wastes no time obeying, hurrying past Kaito and straight to the living room, vaulting over and onto the couch.

He sighs, closing the door and massaging his aching head. “You could at least take off your shoes, asshole.”

“I’m good,” he cheekily replies, resting said shoes on the arm of the couch, “Come sit over here.” He pats the seat next to him. Kaito shakes his head and opts to sit on the opposite end.

 

“Are you gonna explain why the hell you’re awake at 2 in the morning or should I just assume you’re going out of your way to bother me?”

He hums in response, before his expression changes to a pout. “My manager wants me to change my sleep schedule so we can get some night scenes out of the way. But no one else is ever awake at this time of night unless they’re completely smashed.”

Kaito pinches his nose; what was Kokichi starring in again? He himself isn’t doing anything currently, waiting for preparations for the next film to wrap up. “Why don’t you go bother Miu then? She supposedly never sleeps.”

“She sleeps weird hours, but she’s in France with Kaede right now.”

 

Oh, yeah, that’s right. “Ugh, call her or text her or something then; it’s like normal morning hours there.”

“No thanks,” Kokichi declines, kicking off his shoes, “I don’t want to interrupt her honeymoon.

He furrows his brows at his word choice; they’re there for Kaede’s piano concerts, right? Well, whatever. “Why don’t you go bother-” Fuck, who could he send Kokichi off to? He couldn’t bother Shuichi or Maki with him, and all their other mutual friends either expressed annoyance with him or didn’t stand up to him when he was being like this. Dammit. “... Fine, whatever, guess you can be my problem for tonight.”

 

It _has_ to be illegal for him to look so happy at being the source of someone’s sleep deprivation. “Aw, I knew you’d come around. No one can resist me.” Fucking spoiled brat.

“Just find some way to entertain yourself; I got plenty of shit lying around. I'm goin' back to sleep.” He stands, waving him off, but doesn’t get far before Kokichi lunges forward and grabs his wrist.

“I have a huge Lego Star Destroyer in my car and if you don’t help me build it I’ll egg your house.”

 

... Well, how could he say no to that? “Dude, you act as if building that would be a bad thing.”

He hums in response, releasing Kaito and tossing his keys up to him without warning. He catches it midair, nearly missing the sly smirk that crosses Kokichi’s face. “You’ll see~!”

 

The box isn’t that big, but it’s heavier than he expected it to be. Not anything he can’t handle, but it still causes him some trouble getting it through the door, determined to be as difficult as its owner. He becomes very familiar with information on the side of the box as he’s bringing it in; 3152 pieces, recommended for ages 16 and up.

Looks like Kokichi would have to sit out, haha.

Relaying that joke to him when he finally sets it down in the living room earns him a huff and an annoyed shout reminding him that they’re the same age. Geez, it isn't Kaito’s fault he looks nothing like a 23 year old. He doesn't look a day over 15, and that's just a fact.

 

“So, why do you even have this? Don't tell me you bought it just to bribe me,” he asks as they pull out the bags of pieces from the box, Kokichi flipping through the first few pages.

“No way, it's just something I impulse bought last Christmas and never got around to building. I remembered it while I was sitting around bored and hey, you're the residential space freak.” He grabs the baggie labeled “1” from Kaito’s pile, tearing it open with more force than necessary.

“Hey, careful! You’ll lose pieces like that!”

“Relax, it's the first bag, and your house is surprisingly clean. Seriously, do you even live here?”

 

Kaito feels a bit offended at that. “What does that mean?! You think I live like a slob or somethin’?!”

“Uh, yeah? Your dressing room is always a mess.” He pauses. “Do you keep the mess in your bedroom then?” He gives him a teasing wink as he begins snapping pieces together.

“My room’s clean too, asshole. It's not hard to keep a clean house.”

“I bet it is, when you own literally nothing.” He shakes his head. “I was expecting collectables and spaceship models everywhere.”

Well... He _does_ have those, but they're in his study where he can see them while he works out. “What, so are you saying you own a bunch of junk then?” He _did_ say that he impulsively bought this.

 

Kokichi's face goes flat for a moment, before snapping back into a grin. “Yep! You caught me, I'm a huuuuge hoarder!” And a huge liar; anyone who works with him for even five minutes knows that.

“Yeah, sure.” Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. He can't judge a house he's never seen. Which begs the question- “Where the hell do you even live?”

“I wonder,” he answers with a non-answer, flipping to the next page. Kaito shakes his head, unsurprised.

 

After he grabs one of the other instruction booklets and his own bag of pieces - pushing Kokichi’s scattered pieces towards him to prevent mixing - the two of them work in silence for a long while. Kaito starts to yawn as he flips through the seemingly endless instructions, blurry vision causing him to keep misreading the pictures and forcing him to frequently tear apart sections of his progress.

“You're really bad at this,” Kokichi comments as he finally finishes his booklet, standing up and stretching.

“Fuck you, I'm doing my best on three hours of sleep.”

“Hmm, should've gone to bed earlier. Besides, I only got four and I'm perfectly fine.” Despite his words, the next sound to leave his mouth is a poorly disguised yawn. “Anyway, I'm gonna raid your pantry as punishment for being so slow.”

Ughhh. “Good luck finding anything, I haven't gone grocery shopping recently.”

 

There's a long pause as Kokichi inspects the food situation for himself. He returns a minute later with a tupperware container. “How are you alive?”

“Meal prep and tons of leftovers.” He hauls himself up with a low groan, before walking over and taking the container from him. “Don't eat this; it's my lunch for tomorrow.”

Kokichi sticks his tongue out at him. “Whatever, I didn't want your gross... whatever that is.” He huffs, turning back into the kitchen to poke around.

Kaito sighs. “Want me to order a pizza?” That's a better option than him getting into the little food that remains.

 

He perks up, closing the barren freezer. “I supposeee,” he drawls, pretending to be disinterested.

“What toppings?” He pulls up a list of nearby pizza places, hoping one of them would deliver at almost 3:30am. Closes at 3am, closes at 2am, midnight... Damn.

“None pizza with left beef, obviously.”

“C’mon Kokichi, a serious answer please.”

“Fine, pineapple with anchovies.”

“Alright, no take backs,” he answers, still squinting at his phone to find a place.

 

Kokichi sighs after a minute of unsuccessful searching. “Gimme that, I know a place.” Before he can object, his phone is in his hands and the pizza is ordered, along with some mystery combo items.

Afterwards, the phone is returned to him unharmed, thankfully. “It’s gonna be 34 dollars, spaceman.”

He scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah yeah, lemme go find my wallet.” He shakes his head and makes the mistake of leaving Kokichi alone unattended downstairs.

By the time he digs his wallet out of his nightstand and takes a quick piss, the doorbell rings. He splashes some water on his face to help keep himself awake, hurrying down the stairs as Kokichi’s opening the door.

 

“Thank you very much! Sorry, no autographs, but you can get one from Kaito if you want.” He hurries past Kaito and away from the delivery girl, a pile of boxed food in his arms.

Kaito sighs as he pulls a 50 out of his wallet. “Need me to sign anything? And keep the change, it’s fuck o’clock in the morning, I know.” Once he’s signed in three separate places aside from the receipt, she finally leaves, letting him turn his attention back to Kokichi.

 

“Hey, what’s your Netflix password?” He immediately asks once the door’s closed. “I tried a bunch of stupid space references but it’s not working.”

“Like hell I’ll tell you that, use your own.” He plopped himself back down at the abandoned Legos, trying to regain focus.

“I don’t have oneeee,” he whines in response, dropping the controller down onto the floor as he flops onto his side. Kaito resists sighing again and picks it up, turning the console off, ignoring Kokichi’s continued mumbled whines.

 

They sit in silence for a few long moments before Kaito realizes that something’s off with the Legos. “Hey, where the hell’d all my small gray pieces go?”

He shoots Kokichi a look, and he receives a toothy smile in response. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll step on them at some point!”

He scowls - like hell he will. “Seriously, do you want us to build this or not? If we lose a shit ton of pieces right off the bat, that’s not happening.”

“I mean...” Kokichi sat up, observing his nails for a moment before turning to the pizza box next to him and opening it. “I’m pretty bored with it now. I’m trying to think of a better game to play, since Netflix and chill is out of the question.”

He coughs. “Shuddit. Fuck, you’re such a pain.” He shakes his head and starts to pick up the pieces, taking the complete piece and the almost finished one to the empty bookshelf he’s been meaning to fill in the corner of the room. Once he’s finished, Kokichi beckons him back over, shoving a paper plate with a slice on it into his hands. He eats it, only because he paid for it and he’s hungry from sleep deprivation.

 

It’s not too bad, honestly.

 

“Hmmm, I wanna take a selfie...” Kokichi thinks aloud, leaning his full body weight of literally nothing against Kaito as he pulls out his phone and opens the camera app.

“Seriously?! I’m trying to eat!”

“Just one, promise! Say pineapple!” The circular button takes their picture silently, unlike paparazzi cameras. He lets Kaito approve of it before returning to his previous position.

 

“Satisfied? Will you let me sleep and not make a mess if I go back to bed?” Kaito asks after the pizza and half the breadsticks are gone, yawning again.

“Only if you answer my question.”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, sure. Shoot.”

“What do you think about fake dating? Specifically, me ‘n’ you?”

 

His question is answered by him coughing to avoid choking on his own spit.


	2. Scene 2

Once his scattered mind begins to calm down, his first response is to shout, “What the hell’re you talking about?!”

Kokichi blinks at him, light fluttering of his eyelashes. “I meannnn, let’s fuck around with the tabloids and stuff. I’m bored and they all annoy me to no end, so I wanna pull a prank on them.”

Okay, he gets that, but- “Why with me?!”

 

“Becaaause,” he sighs out, “Everyone except Shuichi sucks and he’s going on tour next week. Plus he’s just a terrible actor. You at least have that going for you.” He then grins. _“Plus,_ people eat shit like this up - you know, where the hero and the villain get together? That’s a really popular trope.”

“Dude, that was one time! And what happens when we have to film the sequel?!”

“You act as if this’ll last that long; it’s only gonna be like, maybe a month or two at max.”

A bead of sweat rolls down his face. “If it’s gonna be that short, then why can’t you find someone else?!”

Kokichi raises a brow at him. “Like who? No one would be thrilled to and you know it.”

 

“Well, uh-” He sputters. C’mon, there has to be _someone-_ “What, what about that one guy, uh, Rantaro Amami?” There’d been some sort of rumor about them once, right?

“Taken. He’s a model anyway, always busy running around in a different circle. Only met him because his girlfriend was working on one of my sets designing outfits.” He sighs loudly, propping his chin on his hand. “He _is_ really cute though...”

“Okay, uh, well...” He trails off awkwardly, trying to think of some other answer to give him. “What the hell do I get out of this? I’m not gonna ruin my reputation or anything just ‘cause you wanna screw around.”

“We’re not gonna fuck, so don’t worry about that.” Kaito has to bite back a reaction to the likely purposefully wrong interpretation of his words. “And I know people think I suck, but pretending to date me isn't going to ruin your rep, so...” He pauses for a long moment, before grinning as wide as he can. “You should just man up and help me prove the media is stupid as hell. I mean, I’m sure you hate them too, and you’re not _scared_ of them, riiiight?”

 

 _Fuck._ “Like hell I am,” he growls, massaging his temples, “I’ll do it, alright? You happy?”

He nods, grin still plastered across his face. “Yep! See you after your beauty rest, babe!” He winks and blows him a kiss.

An uncomfortable feeling immediately fills him. “Never call me that ever again and _maybe_ I’ll sleep nightmare-free.”

“No promises!” He sings and turns away from Kaito before an argument can start, flopping back down on the couch and pulling out his phone to end all further conversation. He shakes his head and leaves Kokichi be; he has shit to do this evening, he needs at least _some_ rest before his manager starts blowing up his phone asking where he is.

 

Stardom sucks when no one trusts your ability to get yourself dressed and show up with enough time for the makeup crew to do their thing.

 

He locks his bedroom door - just in case Kokichi decides he’s bored enough that he’s going to come and pester him more - before closing his curtains tightly to block out the morning sun that’ll soon rise. He then lies in bed for at least half an hour, despite his desire to just pass out into the realm of sleep.

Unfortunately, the tension building in his mind from his sudden deal with Kokichi makes it hard to do such a thing.

He can’t stop thinking about how the world will react to them dating. He’s not _scared,_ it’s just- Even if it’s fake, no one would know that until it’s over, and even then it’s doubtful anyone would believe it. That’s just how fans were. He runs his hands down his face, exasperated with Kokichi, but also with himself; why the hell’d he just let himself get dragged into this?

 

His sleep ends up being restless, broken apart by frequent reawakening and his phone buzzing insistently. He isn’t in the mood to deal with whatever they need, so he throws his pillow over his head and ignores it.

After an unsatisfying 6 hours of sleep, he wakes up for real a bit before noon, body sluggish as he showers and throws on some shorts and a tee. He idly checks his texts as he’s making his way downstairs, astounded at the mess that was created while he slept.

 

Kokichi Owoma @real_ouma tweeted:

hanging out with the bae @kaitomomota #firstdate

 

Along with the heart emojis following the message, attached is that dumb selfie he wanted to take, which makes Kaito wonder if that was his goal all along. He pinches the bridge of his nose; the tweet already has well over 10 thousand likes and nearly half as many retweets, along with a fair number of replies. Most of them calling B.S. on it, which is a bit relieving.

 

He’s about to check the rest of his texts when he notices that Kokichi didn’t leave after he went to bed. Instead, he passed out on the couch, one of Kaito’s space-patterned comforters that he’s almost positive was in his bedroom closet pulled around him tightly. He’s tempted to wake him up and scold him for informing the world without permission, but he can’t be bothered. A sleeping Kokichi is a quiet Kokichi, after all.

He turns his attention back to his phone. Most of his texts are from his friends that have seen the tweet and are informing him of its existence. He doesn’t really post on his twitter, so it’s understandable that they would feel the need to let him know.

His manager is trying to give him advice for dealing with dealing with false rumors and offering to help make a public statement to shut it down, which causes him to sigh. If he has to guess, this looks like Kokichi attempting to stop him from backing out, and it works; it’d be more of a hassle to deny the rumors than to play along, after all.

 

He honestly doesn’t want to deal with any of this celebrity shit. He just wants to star in cool sci-fi films and be able to afford living in L.A. where all his friends are.

 

So, instead of answering any of the texts, he takes a picture of Kokichi sleeping for blackmail or something, then grabs his leftovers out of the fridge and tosses it in the microwave. He then sits down, pulling up the tweet again before making the decision to retweet it without any comments. Before he can regret it, he turns the notifications on his phone off and sets it aside, instead starting to make a grocery list for his upcoming trip to the store.

 

He’s contemplating getting them delivered instead when his lunch finishes with a loud beep, followed by a thud from the other room. He holds back a sigh; the silence he desired didn’t last nearly long enough.

“Huh?” In the living room, Kokichi hauls himself up, hair sticking up all over the place as he blinks sleep out of his eyes. In the time it takes him to grab a plate and dump his heated meal onto it, he reaches fully awake status and hurries into the kitchen to bother him. “Oh, you’re finally up!” His own phone is in his hands as he sits down in the chair next to his. “Did you see the-” For a moment, his face goes flat, before bouncing back to excited. “Oh, you retweeted it! Did you like it too?”

“Nah,” he answers, shoveling a bite of food into his mouth. After swallowing, he continues with, “By the way, thanks for that; had everyone and their mother blowing up my phone while I was sleeping.”

 

“You’re welcome!” He doesn’t miss a beat as he scrolls through the comments. “Hmm, it’s gonna take a lot of work to convince everyone. Care if I post about you getting ready for your day?”

“I do, actually; that’s really fuckin’ weird and won’t convince anyone of anything except that you’re a creep.”

He pouts. “Fine. But we really should talk about how we’re gonna do this.”

He scratches at the stubble along his jaw. “I guess. I’m not gonna make any gushy tweets or anything like that, before you ask.”

He hums. “Wasn’t gonna suggest anything like that. Let’s say... We’ve been officially dating for two weeks, keeping things on the down low, before we decided to come out about it last night.”

 

He coughs as an epiphany hits him. Fuck, he has to deal with that aspect of the media on him. “Dammit, I didn’t even think about that part. The media’s gonna be all over me for being, for being gay! Which, well, you know, isn’t a bad thing to be, but-” He can’t exactly say he _isn’t_ when he went through that whole shebang in college, but he wasn’t wanting the world to know that.

Kokichi shrugs. “It was going to happen eventually. I mean, people have been suspecting you are since at _least_ last winter due to the vague gay subplot going on in your latest film.”

Kaito’s forehead falls into his hand, covering his eyes. “God, can’t people tell the difference between fiction and reality anymore? That’s a fucking character-”

Kokichi’s phone rings, cutting him off. The two of them look towards it, Kokichi quirking a brow. “Oh, it’s Toujou, one sec.” He turns away from Kaito and answers the call with an obnoxiously fake shout of, “Good morning, Mom!”

 

Kaito rolls his eyes; he doesn’t know how Kokichi can address Director Kirumi Toujou like that. She’s scary intense when on set. He’s worked with her for two movies - both of them great, but both of them grueling to film due to her perfectionism and no-nonsense aura. He can hardly believe she’s only two years older than them with how huge the difference in maturity is.

To avoid eavesdropping on his conversation, Kaito gets up and begins to clean up his lunch and what remains of what was technically their breakfast, seeing as Kokichi didn’t bother to. He doesn’t mind doing household chores like this, honestly; he had to do them regularly while living with his grandparents. He’s faintly aware of eyes in his back as he tears up the pizza box to fit into his trash can and moves to begin washing the handful of dishes in the sink.

 

Finally, a loud sigh sounds from the other side of the kitchen, and he pauses to give him a glance. His phone is facedown, so the conversation is likely over. “What happened?”

“She wants me to come in today. _Apparently,_ one of the cameramen screwed up on the shot we did a few days ago and she just noticed it and it’s bugging her. Important scene and all that.” He waves his hand. Kaito feels sorta bad for him; all scenes were important scenes to her, so this was likely not an actual emergency.

“Just one scene, right? Hopefully you won’t be there too long, then.” One scene could still take hours, but it’s still likely to be shorter than a full session.

“Dunno. You know how it is.” He stands, stretching. “Welp, good luck with your day. Interview tonight, right?”

 

“Damn, yeah.” He shuts the water off, drying his hands as Kokichi looks around for his car keys. “You know they’re gonna be all over me because of your tweet.”

“Good. Play along. If they ask you who made the first move, I asked you out, and you accepted because I’m ‘kinda cute’ - those exact words. If they ask, ‘only kinda?’, you respond by seeming embarrassed.” He finally locates and plucks up his keys from the ground in front of the sofa, almost hidden by the blanket draped along the side of the couch and onto the floor. “Honestly, it should be too easy to fool them.”

He has a whole script ready, huh. “Man, who died and made you director?”

“Unfortunately, no one; the universe isn't that kind as to rid the world of any of them,” he dramatically says, before he shakes his head and returns to a more neutral tone, “Anyway, I'll be back tonight; we can discuss the schematics of our act then. Don't say anything unnecessary, be vague, they can fill in any gaps themselves. Got it?”

 

He responds by shooing Kokichi out of his house. “Yeah yeah, don't worry. It'll be fine; I'm not stupid.”


End file.
